Depression, or “Deep Rest Option”?

Depression isn’t glamorous.

Losing your temper with everyone and everything around you because you can barely think straight, realising you’re crying without knowing why, feeling the bubbles – hot and acrid, or ice-cold – of rage over who knows what overwhelming you, drowning you, isn’t glamorous.

Hating yourself, planning your death, isn’t glamorous.

Not showering for days at a time isn’t glamorous.

Barely remembering how to eat, because your hunger isn’t for food, isn’t glamorous.

Depression isn’t glamorous. But, sometimes, it’s what you need.

You need to be shut off from everything that had previously distracted you, made to focus on your pain, so that your brain is forced to focus on a solution to that pain.

Most of us go through life never knowing what it actually is that hurts – and yet it’s what hurts that, once we harness it and address it directly – is most likely to lead us to the life we want.

Few people ever got rich without solving a problem: depression forces you to focus solely on the problem, to live the problem – you just have to stay with it long enough for the immediate agony to pass, and the problem to become apparent.

If you have any other way of identifying the pain that will become your potential – take that way. Depression is a rough, half-forgotten path in country where you find yourself rapidly running out of oxygen, cut, bruised, and frequently lost. If you can find a paved road, clearly signposted – for the love of all, sacred and profane, take that road.

But, if it has to be depression, remember – sometimes, you’ve just been shunted on to the “deep rest option” of life, and, if you can survive it, something lasting will come of it.

It takes time – I’ve suffered from serious, debilitating depression for about half as long as I’ve been alive, and I’m only just beginning to glimpse the potential in the pain. Fifteen years on. A decade and a half, and a half dozen times I’ve nearly walked away.

It may take me another five years to fully grasp and begin to address the potential in the pain. It may take me another fifteen to realise my version of “success.”

I just have to hold on, and do all I can to make sure I have that time – I have to allow depression to be a “negative charge”, instead of just a negative.


It’s Here!

Negative: Charge! The book (Amazon UK)


Negative: Charge! The book (Amazon US)

Looks like CreateSpace are working at triple-speed at the moment! Already up on Amazon (follow whichever of the  links relates to your country.)

This is a short, succinct book that aims to provide a basic introduction to the concept of creative negativity – it’s ideal for time-pushed executives, or those who like their literature to get straight to the point.

It’s also FREE for EVERY participant on speaking engagements, training, and consultancy services.  Email to discuss your needs, or to book. Currently availability from 6th June, any day except Fridays, including weekends and evenings.

Hopefully there’ll soon be a Skype service, so that non-UK clients can be taken on, and also so that smaller companies, charities, etc, can benefit from reduced rates.

Call In The (Creatively Negative) Cavalry!

Negative Charge Book Cover(Animalia Designs)

This is the cover photo for NEGATIVE: CHARGE!, a light-hearted, not-quite-self-help book that offers a short introduction to the art of creative negativity.

The book should be available June/July time – so, perfect for summer holiday reading! – and will be available to purchase from Amazon.

Pre-orders are welcome; £5 per copy, inc UK p&p.  Bulk orders also welcome, £45 (inc p&p) per 10 copies.

For those who live outside the UK, or who prefer not to shop with Amazon, PDFs are available for just £2.

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